If you've ever had self-limiting beliefs that have been holding you back from moving forward in life, its time to take a step back. It’s something that helped me see more clearly and understand what was holding me back from living my best life. I became aware….aware of the root to what was causing the negativity in my head.
“If you are not aware that your mind is full of wounds and emotional poison, you cannot begin to clean and heal the wounds and you will continue to suffer.” - Don Miguel Ruiz
If you have not read “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz, I highly recommend it. He talks a lot about the belief systems that have been placed into our minds. It could have been created by our parents, other family members, friends, a bully, a co-worker, a complete stranger…things said to us that we believed as truth, when in reality they weren’t our truth. Your life is a manifestation of YOUR beliefs and you have the choice to change them, rather than accept what was told to you. But how do you live your own truth when the belief system placed inside your mind is all you know as truth?
Since I was a young girl the belief system placed inside my head, whether intended or not, was to accept whatever situation you were dealt. Don’t complain or act out, don’t say anything, just accept it and continue to move forward in the struggle. Because of that, my fear was confrontation and taking a stand for myself. In order to transform, I had to confront that fear by reprogramming my mind to suit a life that I wanted to live. Ruiz talks about Four Agreements to help you overcome your past beliefs and create new ones (pick up his book to learn more about them!). It won’t happen overnight…I’m still working on my fears, but little by little we chip away a them until we get to the core.
For example, for years I always accepted that I had to be the one to do everything at home: cook, clean, care for the kids and work. I was tired and frustrated but it was my belief system. I decided to face that fear of not speaking up by asking for help. Help from my husband and kids, and others. From there I moved onto other areas of my life, like my career. Everyone has their own fears. For you maybe it’s the fear of not being accepted, or the fear of failure, or the fear of not being good enough or smart enough. Whatever it is, think about what you can do to face that fear and replace that belief with a new one.
If you chose not to face your fears, your emotions will ultimately get the best of you. You’ll begin to lash out at those who didn’t hurt you, possibly even creating toxic beliefs in their own minds without even realizing it.
There are many other steps to take, including the power of forgiveness, and reaching each of them will be a battle, but you are stronger than you think. To my wellness warriors, I leave you with these final words from Don Miguel Ruiz:
“…to be a warrior doesn’t mean we always win the war; we may win or we may lose, but we always do our best and at least we have a chance to be free again.”
Let's start a conversation. How have you handled limiting beliefs in your life? Chime in to the comments below.